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Movie/TV reviews while waiting for wrestling season?

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  • #31


    This is a 2020 Science Fiction movie with future Earthlings fleeing the planet because of a plague. The spaceship holds 340,000 humans in hibernation and one alien. We follow the crew that is not in stasis as they try to defeat the alien, which can multiply by infecting humans.

    The movie stars Bruce Willis as a person who can no longer act. I am saddened to say that he's been nominated for a Razzie for Worst Actor in a Supporting Role because of this film, and he deserves to win. This is unbelievable, but true.

    If he doesn't win, then the head alien should get it.

    With companies like Industrial Light and Magic, Pixxar and the whole of South Korea available to create believable special effects, your big budget monster shouldn't look like Mrs. Shepherd's third grade class project.

    I paid money at the Redbox to watch this movie, and I feel like a scam victim. Have pity on me. One star.


    • #32


      A squad of Army Rangers are beset by a mysterious storm that transports them to a new world filled with giant monsters. They must stay alive while trying to return to Earth.

      Milla Jovovich stars as the commanding officer. Ron Perlman is a monster hunter on the alien planet. The movie is based on a video game, and it plays out like one.

      The most video gamey thing was how the Army Rangers were often not wearing seatbelts in vehicles that the giant monsters violently rolled over ten to twenty times, and yet those lucky folks barely got hurt. Milla Jovovich was in a plane crash--and not the hard landing type but the dropping like a rock type--and she just shook it off before continuing the struggle.

      The director really should've put energy, defense and life-force bars above the characters' heads.

      The movie had a $60m budget and a $31m box office, which should tell you something. I didn't mind it. Jovovich is attractive, and the monsters were so much more believable than in Breach. I'll give it two stars and recommend it to folks who play the video game or need some mindless entertainment.


      • #33

        (2009 Anime movie)


        I expected to like this movie. I counted on liking this movie. I didn't like this movie. Cartoons and comic books have always been a favorite of mine. As a kid growing up in ILLINOIS, I watched and adored the anime-like Speed Racer. Ghost in the Shell was going to be an adult version of that for me, but it fell short.

        It was almost completely due to the insipid voice actors.

        The voice actors in this version of Ghost in the Shell were like listening to an entire roster of prescription drug commercial actors. There was all the urgency in their lines that you would find when somebody says, "Ask your doctor about Keytruda." Yes, I understand that most of the characters are cyborgs or some form of half human / half machine. But still. I expected at any minute for somebody to say, "Side effects include nausea, vomiting, hair loss, rashes, Iowa, redness and swelling." Here's a clip:

        On the other hand, the nudity was gratuitous and wonderful. In fact, I went back to review clips from the live action Scarlett Johansson version of the movie to see if there was that much, and, sadly, there was not.

        I am going to displease my Puritan forebears and, despite the lazy voice acting, recommend the movie for the wonderful nudity. I used the word "gratuitous" in the previous paragraph not in the puritanical sense, but in a these-dudes-found-strange-but-laudable-excuses-to-show-boobs manner. Two stars.


        • #34

          Has there been a movie parody of professional wrestling? I don't know. I can't think of one. The WWE could use a Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby treatment. If it has not, I would be interested in writing a script.

          Your script ideas are welcome and will be cheerfully stolen.


          • #35
            WONDER WOMAN 1984


            I haven't finished half of the movie. I'm at about 20 minutes in. Wonder Woman has always been right there with Spiderman as my least favorite super hero. DC is not as good as Marvel. The Rope of Truth (or whatever it's called) is the lamest super power besides shooting spider webs.

            And yet, I am going to give this movie eight stars out of four.

            So far, Gal Gadot has looked fabulous as she's castigated 80's selfishness, toxic masculinity and the use of guns. It is like waking up to a beautiful bowl of
            Kellogg's Super Sugar Wokefullness Flakes.Yum!

            This is not the trailer; this is Wonder Woman saying, "I hate guns":

            You go, girl! I hate guns too.


            • #36
              THE EMPTY MAN

              Movie Review

              There Be Spoilers.

              What appear to be deaths by supernatural means cause a former police officer to hunt down the killer or killers. This is a detective procedural that also aspires to horror and science fiction.

              Here is the trailer:

              The first twenty minutes of the movie constitute a prologue, and I would rate it a ten out of ten. I would also rate the concept behind the movie very highly.

              It is imaginative.

              There is a cult involved, and that cult causes my major problem with the film. Cults are weird. Granted. Cults do silly things. Stipulated. If they weren't weird and silly, they'd be called religions or associations.

              But this cult's empty soda pop orchestra was a small step for horror and a giant leap for comedy.

              That was a mistake.

              Nothing after that can be truly horror inducing. And that's too bad because this could've been a great movie instead of a good one. If the director had just substituted blowing into an empty soda bottle with almost anything else, well.... Still, 2.5 out of 4.