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  • #31
    .


    Meanwhile, ...

    Your Accu-Sports Meanwhile team is here to ask and answer the hard questions, including this one sent in from a viewer in Peoria:

    Q--What will you do when Artificial Intelligences run everything, and automation or drone or micro or android technology fills every occupation?





    A--Whatever you're doing now.
    .
    Last edited by ChiefIllini1; 05-03-2020, 11:50 PM.

    Comment


    • #32
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      MEANWHILE,

      ... in news of Sport, Coors Light and the Meanwhile Action Sports desk are proud to announce the 2020 NCAA Division One Wrestling National Champions and Academic All-Americans. The CEO for Coors Brewing America, Inc., William Sloshworthy, announced the winners at a press conference in Boulder, Colorado. "It was actually pretty easy for our panel to determine a team champion, as we tapped a pony keg, and before we could finish the second keg, we knew the honor belonged to the University of ILLINOIS. They are your 2020 NCAA Division One National Champions in wrestling!"

      .

      .
      .


      Sloshworthy noted that "the ILLINI were right there at or near the top of all our metrics." The CEO said that they "were tied for seventh with eight athletes who qualified for the NCAA tournament, as well as having six scholar athletes recognized as Academic All-Americans, which was second best in the country. The ILLINI reminded us of the fresh taste of Coors Light, which is like a cool breeze in your face as you drink from a friendly mountain spring." The Academic All-Americans included the following:

      .



      The CEO went on to note that the scholar-athletes on the team were also "respected by the University of ILLINOIS with additional honors." Travis Piotrowski, the dual All-American and Academic All-American, was nominated for the Dike Eddleman award for best male athlete of the year. Danny Braunagel was nominated for Freshman of the Year, and Luke Luffman was recognized as a Spirit Award nominee. Congratulations to the University of ILLINOIS!

      Comment


      • #33
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        MEANWHILE, ...

        The Meanwhile News Desk is reporting on Silver Linings. Sure, there is nothing about the current pandemic that is good. Except, maybe, perhaps, the fact that the PSU wrestling dynasty is over, and Iowa still hasn't won a national championship since 2010. So, there's that.

        Comment


        • #34
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          MEANWHILE ...

          Your Meanwhile News Desk has learned that wrestling apparel maker ScrapLife has something more to worry about than having a lame 2010 meme in its name. Divisive statements by an owner on social media have created a controversy. Your Meanwhile Social Media Correspondent, Harvey Wallbanger, would like to take this opportunity to ask the following question:

          Comment


          • #35
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            MEANWHILE ...

            Your Meanwhile Sports Desk, like Professor Frink, wants you to laugh and wants you to think, but mostly laugh. And when the laughing is at the expense of Iowa and Penn State and other rivals, well, that makes us all happy like little girls. So here are some golden oldies:



            This one is more about the ogling than the laughter.



            This one wasn't very funny either! Must. Do. Better.



            Okay, this was Ben Askren stalking my family right before my daughter's wedding. My wife snuck up behind Askren and took this picture for the restraining order.







            Comment


            • #36
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              MEANWHILE ...

              The Meanwhile News Desk continues exploring past hilarity. Our Social Media guy, Harvey Wallbanger, always says, "In troubled times, the sound of a child's laughter is ... creepy." So, let's laugh a little, why not?






              Our guy, Wallbanger, always wonders, "Why do people hate zombies so much? All they want to do is get a head."








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              • #37
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                MEANWHILE ...

                Your Meanwhile News Department is happy to report that they are working on another interview this weekend. If everything comes together, it should be posted to youtube next week some time. On top of ILLINI legend Mike Poeta, the Meanwhile crew is hoping to interview a veteran starter. Exciting! And so here are some ILLINI Star War images to celebrate:












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                • #38
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                  MEANWHILE ...

                  The Meanwhile Sports Desk is reporting on a breaking story involving the Fresno State wrestling team. A local Fresno newspaper is reporting that the FSU wrestling team has self-reported potential NCAA violations during recruiting visits. We go live to the NCAA:

                  Comment


                  • #39
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                    MEANWHILE ...

                    Roving reporter Lloyd Dobler has been tasked with texting wrestlers in the transfer portal, including Sebastian Rivera, Kennedy Monday and Gavin Teasdale, while pretending to be Coach Karl Branderson of the Winnipeg Mountain Goats in the Canadian College League. Here's a screengrab from one of the exchanges:




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                    • #40
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                      MEANWHILE ...

                      You can trust your Meanwhile Sports Desk to ask the hard-hitting questions for every breaking story:

                      Stanford had a wrestling team?

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                      • #41
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                        MEANWHILE ...

                        In BREAKING NEWS, it is now being reported that Pat Downey is a Giant Douche.

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                        • #42
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                          MEANWHILE ...

                          In an update of our breaking story, it is now being reported that Pat Downey is still a Giant Douche. Additionally, he has been kicked out of the NJRTC and kicked off the FLO broadcast of his match with Turd Sandwich. We have live video below:

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            .
                            MEANWHILE ...

                            In the third part of our two-part series about Patrick Downey, your Meanwhile reporters bring a story of warm fuzzies. The story of a wrestling miracle. You see, kids, one day there was this crazy man who blew up everything he touched. But Rumble on the Rooftop and Chicago BTS took a chance on him, and he didn't blow it all up. Somehow. THE END

                            ​​​​​​​

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                            • #44
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                              MEANWHILE ...

                              Roses are red,
                              Violets are broath.
                              Looks like Ben Askren
                              Should answer questions under oath.



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                              • #45
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                                MEANWHILE ...

                                The Meanwhile News Desk spy cam placed in the back of Daton Fix's refrigerator is now live.

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