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  #1  
Old 08-31-2019
ChiefIllini1 ChiefIllini1 is online now
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Hurricane Dorian

A week ago, the Weather Channel showed the forecasted track of Hurricane Dorian. I saw it and laughed. None of their tracking spaghetti strings came anywhere near Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

It is an immutable weather fact that every Atlantic hurricane, like a bad parent, must stop by Myrtle Beach, kiss it good night, tuck it in, and tell it a scary bedtime story.

A couple days later, a lone tracking spaghetti string led up north, somewhat close to Myrtle Beach. I laughed because everbody knows that hurricanes are like giant angry dogs. They sniff around to find out where other giant angry dogs have been, then take a giant piss on that spot. That spot is where I live, my friends, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

This is Weather 101 and should be taught in Rain School. If you know of any Rain School looking for a professor, give them my info. Serious inquiries only.

My flock, its like Myrtle Beach, South Carolina is that pawn shop that doesn't do federal background checks right, intentionally misspelling a name or getting a date of birth wrong ("It was an honest mistake, Officer. Honestly!) and all the dangerous people (hurricanes) know it.

Send your tots and pears my way, Brethren and Sistren.
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  #2  
Old 08-31-2019
oldpioneer oldpioneer is offline
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No worries, trump just said he would drop a nuke into it
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  #3  
Old 09-03-2019
ChiefIllini1 ChiefIllini1 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oldpioneer View Post
No worries, trump just said he would drop a nuke into it
Radiation flying at me at 200 mph, then circling back and coming at me again and again and again is what I need. According to any comic book, that should turn me into Nuclear Man!

Seriously, though, I joke about crap like this and gun control, but they are devastating problems. My heart to everybody in the Bahamas. I live 2 blocks off the Atlantic in Myrtle Beach, and the last two Category 1 hurricanes were so bad that I got a room in an off-the-beach hotel starting tomorrow.

Time to pack up everything on the first two floors and move it to the attic. If you don't hear from me on Saturday, know that my last words were "Glub! Glub!" and "Go ILLINI!!!"
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  #4  
Old 09-04-2019
ChiefIllini1 ChiefIllini1 is online now
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This is what happened. This is what always happens:


T minus 10 days. Spaghetti strings from Hurricane tracking models never go near Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

T-7 days. There is one spaghetti string that comes somewhat close to Myrtle Beach.

T-4 days. All spaghetti strings run by Myrtle Beach.

T-3 days. The name “Myrtle Beach” begins to show up on weather maps.

T-2 days. Weather forecasters begin saying, “The Hurricane may make landfall around Myrtle Beach.”

T-1 day. Weather forecasters say, “Button up Myrtle Beach. You're ****ed!”


I am now accepting Tots and Pears. And any assault weapons.
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  #5  
Old 09-05-2019
ChiefIllini1 ChiefIllini1 is online now
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I just saw a graphic that indicated that Hurricane Dorian had already released as much cyclonic energy as 11 entire hurricane seasons from the past. Let me give you an idea of what's going on here in Myrtle Beach.

Yesterday, about 24 hours ago, I was rained on for the first time by Hurricane Dorian. Today, it looks like the eye of the storm is heading right for us, but it won't be here for another hour or two.

Then, it will take a couple of hours for that eye to pass, and we will get maybe another day of hurricane as the tail end of the behemoth scoots by. I am going to suggest that hurricanes suck.

This is your Action ILLINI Weather Team signing off for now. Stay tuned for updates on Hurricane Dorian and the aftermath.
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  #6  
Old 09-05-2019
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Blonjuan44 Blonjuan44 is offline
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You called it.
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  #7  
Old 09-05-2019
oldpioneer oldpioneer is offline
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Be safe chief
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  #8  
Old 09-05-2019
ChiefIllini1 ChiefIllini1 is online now
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Thanks, guys! I'm safe, although I'm now taking a Master Class called: "Can a Tree Bend that Far?"
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  #9  
Old 09-05-2019
Crystal Clearly Crystal Clearly is offline
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I thought it was supposed to hit Alabama?



Glad to hear you're safe Chief. 👍🏼
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  #10  
Old 09-05-2019
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Blonjuan44 Blonjuan44 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal Clearly View Post
I thought it was supposed to hit Alabama?



Glad to hear you're safe Chief. ����
I have discovered that people who don't think Trump is weird don't watch the news other than Fox, so they don't even know what you are talking about. All I hear from them is "I can't watch the late night talk shows". They don't want to know. I am not a Democrat or Republican, but at least I know what your talking about.

Worse, was when he said he talked to China and that they were calling him when he hadn't. The White House officials he said that to "help" the market. That is illegal. That is a crime to alter the markets like that.
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